Real questions. Unreal answers.

7/12/10

Dear Ask Boz,

What is the meaning of life?
Tim

Dear Tim,

That's easy! The meaning of life is to help Evil win!

Evil has been so close to winning, for so long, that it is getting a little impatient. So Evil needs YOU to help push it over the top and defeat Good once and for all.

So help Evil win today! If you are serious about adding meaning to your life, please support Evil on one of the following membership levels.

Become a:

Complete Bastard:
- Betray others trust
- Abuse your power
- Steal from the needy
- Prove to children that Santa isn't real
- Exploit the handicapped and mentally deficient
- Drive drunk
- Covet thy neighbor's wife and his ass
- Raise your child to be a bully
- Write Racism for Dummies

Little Devil:
- Kidnapping
- Assault
- Murder
- Teach your dog to kill
- Any act that can be followed by the term "abuse"
- Become a hit man
- Teach children to play Dungeons and Dragons
- Write Serial Killing for Dummies

Dr. Evil:
- Run a crime syndicate
- Become a drug lord
- Cannibalism
- Construct a giant laser beam to blow up the moon
- Run an American Political Party
- Write Designing Unnecessarily Slow Dipping Mechanisms for Dummies

Osama bin Hitler:
- Oppress an entire people
- Decloak Klingon Bird of Prey behind the Enterprise - blow up Enterprise
- Run a terrorist network
- Run an Afghan political party
- Write When to Attack Russia for Dummies

The Demon Asmodeus
- Unleash hordes of unstoppable zombies

Really, just doing that last one would be enough.

As a special offer, I will throw in an Ask Boz Pitchfork to anyone who completes at least one act from each category. So start today! And GO EVIL!

Boz


Last time: If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, does it make any noise?

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