Real questions. Unreal answers.

1/26/10

Dear Ask Boz,

Why does your belly stick out when you make sexy poses?
Alison

Dear Alison,

As you know Alison, I am incredibly sexy. Basically, me just standing completely still is as sexy as most people can handle. In fact, I have to go out in public in a disguise to make me ugly to prevent a catastrophic cascading sexiness overload.

Because of this, the Obama administration has asked me to help with their Sexual Stimulus Package. It seems that along with all the other problems in the world, there is a huge sexual deficit. I've been asked to spread sexiness across this great nation and get us back on track.

After consulting with the very sexy Surgeon General, it was determined that I would be impregnated with a giant dose of Concentrated Sexy Juice. Only I have a Man-Womb strong enough to handle such a gigantic amount of sexiness; only I am sexy enough to be trusted with such an immense sexual responsibility.

So, now you understand why most poses, except complete stillness, makes my pregnant belly stick out. I'm just now starting to show, and I have to admit I'm a little self-conscious. Ironically, it makes me feel less sexy, even though it is full of sexiness! Honestly, I can't wait until I give birth, and drench America with a giant tsunami of liquid sexiness.

Well, be ready to get wet in about 7 months! Have a towel handy. And some water. Concentrated Sexy Juice is a little sticky. And get ready for me to get all my sexy back!

Boz


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