Ask Boz - Who be us?

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About The Author

Who is Ask Boz?

The Ask Boz Research Team has discovered that there is no great and legendary Ask Boz. Indeed, Ask Boz is simply made up by one mysterious figure, Mark Jefferson Bozeman. Going by various "handles," such as Jeff, Boz, Ask Boz, "Mrs. Zippy Time" and his rap name, Lil' Big Fat, Mr. Bozeman is under the delusion that he is this legendary figure, and also under the delusion that Cheerios are Corn Flakes. Seriously, if you think about it, how do you really know? Really, what's in a name?

However, because this would mean all the Ask Bozzes, including us, would not exist, we publicly deny his existence! HA!! How do you like that?! POW!!! And if you try to claim otherwise, we'll follow you around all day, cleverly disguised, and, when you are in a delicate social situation, we'll make farty noises and release smelly gasses. Everyone will laugh at you. Unless you already fart in socially delicate situations, and everyone always laughs at you. In that case, we'll make it like one of the movies where the pretty girl is dared to pretend she likes the nerdy kid. Then the nerdy kid changes and becomes real smooth and is invited to all the rave mixers. So the popular girl falls in love with him for real, and they go parking and neck, but then he finds out about the bet, and hates her. Then he realizes that he has betrayed all his true friends, and that what it really important is staying true to himself. Which will be really an elaborate joke, if you think about, because you're the loser nerd, and being "true to yourself" means having crappy hygiene and no friends. Anyway, just don't screw with us, OK?

Asknowledgments

We'd like to thank Scott Blankenburg for launching the original Ask Boz on the Connecticut Ultimate website. Scott led to the creation of the initial buz that led to us going big! Without his voluntary efforts you would not be reading this sweet morsel of a website. He's also a merciless assassin. And a nurse. Really, the dude is very diverse. You can still read the original Ask Bozzes on the CT ultimate website

If you think we're funny, there are two people who need to be credited - Kurt Vonnegut and Colin McEnroe. While the first may need no intro, you should check out McEnroe's radio show on WTIC.COM. It begins streaming at 3pm weekdays. This show is funny, penguinest, political, and dead sexy. He also has a blog. Of course, Monty Python is everything. And the Simpsons. Don't have a nih, man.

Links

The world's best rock-hip-hop-funk-ska-house-harmonic-positive-long-lived band: 311. Ask Boz will hunt you down if you try to call them racist. We really will.

Information on Ultimate Frisbee, the world's greatest sport. We will force you to play if you don't do so voluntarily.

Once again, the original Ask Boz posts can be found at Connecticut Ultimate

We are listed at HumorLinks

These websites really helped us with designing this. Tizag , w3schools.com and a nice code cleaner at algotech.dk