Why is Alex Nord so tall?

We feel a little strange answering this question. The thing is, we have no idea who Alex Nord is. He or she has a great name though. "Alex Nord" is that kind of adaptable name that could serve you in so many walks of life. Male pornstar, obvi; the name practically thrusts itself at you. Or maybe actor for the stage and screen. How about the sports superstar "A Nord"? The best, of course, would be the Hand-Maiden of Thor, and caretaker of Mjolnir (pronounced "Heyzues"). And finally, plugger of dikes, big fjord style.

But why is that all we know? 'Cause it is the holidays here at the A to the B to the dot to the C, and we are kicken' it Lobsta' Killa' style. (Lobsta' Killa' is a totally assimilated rapper who kicks out the Super Ape rhymes while placing really def, jammin' lobsters into pots of boiling water.) So we don't care about no research, or even you question, or even using real words, hurbult.

And don't assume we're celebratin' your heathen Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hebrew, Arab, Saracen, Catholic, Protestant, Semetic, Mohammaden bullshit holidays. No, we celebrate Lusitinia - the disaster holiday. Usually several thousand Ask Bozzes are slaughtered in an orgy of violence, poor decision making, and Monty Python levels of overeating. So, if you're planning on applying to become an Ask Boz, there are lots of openings after the holidays!

Actually, it is a necessary part of the overall training for being in a collective. Usually on, like, your fourth day, we'll just totally kill, say, fifteen Ask Bozzes right in front of you, just to shake you out of your belief that individual life matters. It's sort of a homicidal Zen Koan, if you get our drift. Shmuz ult!

Ask Boz

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