Ask Boz

7/24/08

First Name: Yoko

Location: JP

Question: is " i am the apeman" your theme song baby?

No, it is not. To show you why, let's go through the lyrics:

"Ape Man" by The Kinks

I think I'm sophisticated
cos I'm living my life like a good homosapien (The only good homosapien is serving a Super-Ape a tossed salad.)
But all around me everybody's multiplying (Super-Apes don't believe in multiplication - how can 2*2 = 4 AND 2+2 = 4? Think about it.)
Till they're walking round like flies man
So I'm no better than the animals sitting in their cages in the zoo man (Except you don't fling poo through the bars - that's better, isn't it?)
cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
I am an ape man
I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized cos I'm a strict vegetarian (You'll get yours in heaven - rumor has it, God is a cucumber.)
But with the over-population and inflation and starvation
And the crazy politicians (These are bad things? We need to pay more attention.)
I don't feel safe in this world no more (When did you? Kindergarten?)
I don't want to die in a nuclear war (Strangely, when Super-Apes are surveyed this is number two on the list of how they want to die. Number one? Porn overdose.)
I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man
I'm an ape man I'm a king kong man I'm ape ape man (King-Kong man? Now there's a genetic experiment we'd like to see. And imagine the size of his toilet!)
I'm an ape man (Wait... are you saying you're an ape man? It seems that way - we'll just read on to make sure.)
cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky
Compared to the clouds as they roll by
Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
I am an ape man (Umm, what kinda frikin' comparisons are these? Are they calling the sun and clouds living beings? Either take one less hit, or one more, dude.)
In mans' evolution he has created the cities and
The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
And I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle (You've heard of the Law of the Jungle? There are fines for this kind of behavior.)
cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man (Kieth Richards must have loved this part.)
Come and love me, be my ape man girl
And we will be so happy in my ape man world (We would love to see what this girl looks like.)
I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man (OK, good. We're pretty sure you're saying that you are an ape man.)
I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man (What? Oh, crap. We thought you were an ape man! Dammit! We're so stupid!)
I'm an ape man (Fine. We give up. Be whatever the hell you want to be!)
I'll be your Tarzan, you'll be my Jane (Ummm, dude, they were people... duuuuhhh)
I'll keep you warm and you'll keep me sane
And well sit in the trees and eat bananas all day (We do not recommend this dangerous diet. You're almost sure to get Potassium poisoning.)
Just like an ape man

In case you wanted to know, the Ask Boz and Super-Ape theme song is "I Want Your Sex" by George Micheal.

Last time: Are you a green bear?

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