What's the best natural aphrodisiac?

Our Word Choice Analyzer detects you are a human female, and quite an attractive one at that, by the standards of your people. For this particular aphrodisiac, you'll need you to find the nearest man willing to make hot passionate love to an intelligent and pretty woman. Approach a suitable male and say you want him to place his male reproductive organs into your female reproductive organs. For an extra edge, our research shows that 98% of human males like it when women include swear words when asking him to use his gender parts with her gender parts.

You then want to take this excited male and take him to the source of the most amazing, yet deadly, natural aphrodisiac: car exhaust. Do not try to claim that automobile fumes aren't natural: all things are created by your Human God, Alan. Thus, if you call any of his creations natural, you must call them all natural.

Start your car, go around to the rear, and get down on your hands and knees. Be as provocative as possible, since what you are doing is considered both psychotic and suicidal. Place your lips inside the tailpipe and inhale deeply. At this point, attempt not to die. If you survive you will be filled with an incredible rush of sexual power. Sadly, our research shows that at this point, 98 percent of males will either say "Whoa!" and run away, or gag stomach contents on you and then run away. You will likely die before a male sticks around and experiences the amazing sexual abilities given to you by inhaling unhealthy amounts of tailpipe toxins.

Those that survive report that: "It was -wheeeeeeeze!!!!oooooooohhhhhhhh! The searing pain is driving me mad!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! - It was the most amazing experience of my sadly shortened life. - AAAAAuuugggghhhhh!!!?"

If somehow you actually decide to go ahead and try this fatal pleasure, be advised that Super Apes are an entirely different species, and your laws do not govern us.

Ask Boz

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