Dear Ask Boz,

When will the apocalypse happen?

Promised to you by Francis Ford Copolla, but delivered by Ask Boz, we give you: Ask Boz's Now Apocalypse! Really now! As in, as you read, it is the Apocalypse. All this without the burden of a God, a Devil, or any kind of real belief.

We guarantee that our vision of the final days will deliver more content and product to your various media devices than any other worship style. Outdated "faiths" are stuck in the Middle Ages with "books" about boring, long-dead people who did boring things. Oooooh, wow, they're writing about WAR! Ooooh, and here is an implication someone may have had sex with someone else! Look at us; we're blushing. Who wants to read that crap?! Ask Boz will bring you sex and murder NOW, with a steaming heap of disease and a dollop of blood-spurting veins. All in the name of the End of All Things.

Screw the boring old revolution: the Apocalypse is on TV! Ask Boz promises to deliver sweet Armageddon to your living room as you kick back in your recliner and watch 24-hour Ask Boz funded mayhem explode on your 56-inch HD screen. You will sit and watch, growing fat, soooo fat and useless, yessssss, faaaaaat faaaaaaat and weeeeeaak, while Ask Boz brings the bitter end right to you on our new network: APE - Apocalypse Entertainment. Public beheadings on your cell phone, tsunamis on your PDA, and, on your computer, 37 streaming channels of pain! That's in addition to 276 TV channels of famine, bar brawls, circus fires, infidelity, murders for hire, leprosy, deadly flatulence, steaming jealousy, impaled hippies (along with other types of hippie killing on the When Hippies are Attacked channel), Andrew Dice Clay and Vanilla Ice Mash-ups, and other signs of mass horror. Just pay the fee, and you get to watch as the world all around you gets even hellier than before.*

*Pay-per view events, such as "The Plague of Really Hot and Loose Women", not included in the basic package.

Last time: Who is the anti-boz?

Archive of the latest responses:

Subscribe to this page to get automatic updates!

An ancient link. See Ask Boz from 2004 on the Connecticut Ultimate website.

NOW! Vote for us at Humor Links

We are listed in the Comedy Zone

Any question will do because we can answer them all. Fill in all boxes below with something before you send. This helps protect against spam in the inbox, which is very itchy. We will see no email with this form, so if you want me to reply directly to you, do include it.

 


Name or email

How you at?
 
Question or comment
 

        
                 or