Name: Brad

Location: Like you don't know

Question: I recently noticed your evil nemesis (or Lex Luthor, if you will) Ask.com recently laid off 40 employees or 8% of it's work force. In addition, they revamped their web site. I find this disturbing because you recently revamped your site as well. Are you planning layoffs in the home office? Should I sell my ask boz stock options? Will you tender an offer to takeover Ask.com?

These are good questions, Brad, but they also betray your complete ignorance, stupid. You see, Ask.com and Askboz.com are caught in a symbiotic dance. They need our made-up nonsense answers as much as we need their well-researched and correct answers. It is cosmic balance, yin and yang, Humperdinck and Wu-tang. So, just how can we "take over" an entity we are so intimately connected with, you fool!

You see, as they lay off, Askboz.com only grows. Many of our newest employees are of your species. It is a part of the Super Ape Creed to liberate as many humans as possible and return them to the wild. Perhaps we will even take those fired from Ask.com and set them loose, allow them to roam free, kill their own meat, and create nonsense answers for us by making pictures in the dirt with their index fingers. It is a beautiful thing to see a human go wild. Their hair is liberated and lushly covers bare flesh. Your women are so much hotter with hair covering their chests, bellies, stomachs and tushes. And knees.

As far as we care Ask.com can eat their pretend stock options, Brad, you idiot. The Askboz.com Super Ape Tribe barters goods with other tribes, like Stubhub, Google, and Lickmywhoa!. We recently negotiated an exchange of some of our nice sharpened sticks for some of Google's hallucinogenic banana peels. We're well known for the durability of our sharpened sticks, and we're also well known for getting smacked out on bananadine. So, jerk, that means place banana peels on "buy" and sharpened sticks on "sell".

Your friend Ask Boz

See an outtake about Lex Luthor in the "boz speaks" box

NEW! Vote for us at Humor Links

Last time: Will my love for Micke last forever?

Laster time: Will we be stuck here?

Lastest time: Why am I still hooked?

NEW! Vote for us at Humor Links

 
Name
 
    State, Province or Country
   
    Question or comment
        
                 or