Our Story So Far: In Episode One, Dan Griffith asked Ask Boz the following asktation: "How do you keep writing classics yet never stop writing classics? Do you ever get tired of writing classics, or does the very fact that everything you write is a classic invigorate you? Do girls like me? Even the homely ones, even? Thanks. Dan. PS You always write classics." Later that post, Dan successfully fought off hordes of goblins while humming Beethoven's 21st and pulling down his pants with the shout "Why admire Assman when you can have ASSMONSTER!!!!!!" Our story continues on the planet Dantoine, where Ask Boz has just finished Dan's health check-up.

OK, Dan. Your drug test came out "Whassup?" and the Invasive Multi-Orifice Probe turned up nothing troubling, or exciting, sadly. Before we try you out answering questions, shall we do a little tour of the Ask Boz campus? What did you say? "Femur"? What kind of answer is that? Well. Right this way! This is our research wing. Ask Boz tries to be proactive, anticipating possible questions before they come. In this room, for instance, we're working on the potential question "If Glen were a dinosaur, what type would he be, and why?" Can't go in there now ... we're trying him out as a Raptor. No, Dan, he's not the danger. The female raptor is real agitated, seeing as Glen Raptor just stares and stares, and then gets nervous hiccough fits. Just keep walking.

Here ... We can go into this one. Hey, Earl. Things still quiet since the fight? Great. This is Dan. Yes, that Dan, who will restore Ask Boz to its once and future greatness, while smiting all our enemies and making us delicious sandwiches. Dan is here to see the "Ask Boz classic midget actor and Enraged Midget Killing Warriors" room. What's that Dan? The little decayed bodies? Well, over there were the Lollipop Leaguers, here were the Munchkins, on the far side are the remains of the Ewoks and Jawas, that was Kareem Abdul-Jabar, that was Mini-Me, there's the Oompa-Loompas, and right here is what's left of Lou Alcindor. Why are they all dead? Yeah, heh, ummmm, ...... yeah, there was this question, right, "What if you put ..." What's that, Earl?. OK. No, you're right. He deserves the truth. There was no question. We were in the middle of expanding, we had limited storage space, and ... look, we can't always think of everything. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as when we put the crack addicts in with Cracky McCrackman and the Flying Crack Circus. Not as funny, either.

Hey! That's right. I know the room for you. Here! See, it's your hero Godzilla! Turns out he's a great chef! Just don't think about what the meat is, you know? Oh, you thought about it. Yeah, those are the charred remains of Darryl. At the bitter end, he just turned into a quivering wussy-sissy-mary-nancy boy. Got what he deserved, really. Come right to this door. Next room, here, is the "Ask Boz Def Comedy Boz Jam." This is where Ask Boz polishes up our "Street Vibe," foo! Bozzatch! Humpty-Dump!

Well, here we have the ... well, you'd call it "The New Classics Room." This is where we make those hilarious and charming references to your non-giant lizard heroes, like Rico, Kevin, and Fisher's Hot Young Fiancé. All the characters you love, like you said in your email. Pardon? You didn't write what "at all"? You said they weren't classics? Really? Let's talk about that in the "Room of Play Dialogue," shall we?

Dan: (Turning purple.) Ask Boz!

AB: (Excitingly portrayed.) Hi, Dan.

Dan: It's me, Dan. (Angrily pacing. Fidgeting with his walking stick.)

AB: (Pausing from contemplating their next classic.) Oh, hey there Dan. What's up?

Dan: (Thunder sounds from outside.) What the fruit! Did you even read my parent - fruitin' question? (Holding out several papayas.)

AB: Sure did! (Hooters) It was great! It was like this: "Always keep writing classics forever like you always do already, Ask Boz! You da man! Shnazzbut! Dan." What a great question. Is there still some kind of problem? No, let's talk about it. No secrets between master and student. Hey, do you mind continuing this in "The Room at the End of the Post"? Great. (Out of ideas.)

Next Tuesday...will Dan defy Ask Boz and continue to be a friendless loser? Let's hope so. Sounds funny

Don't Miss -- Dronk Grimmish: Final Muffin.

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