What is your favorite color?

Our favorite color is "sazkbo." Sazkbo is a color that will not be invented for a thousand years. In the future, when every culture has reverted to the cheaper method of chiseling things into stone, the dictionary tablet for sazkbo will describe it as: "oaky, with a hint of orange and just the merest taste of silmarils."

That little taste of Tolkien is purposeful. Like Saruman's robe, sazkbo is a shade-shifting color. Encompassing all the shades of our known spectrum, as well as the secret colors seen only by moles, sazkbo would seem to prove that, after all, we are all just different versions of the same great painting. That's not the case, of course, because we won't live in Loservanyia, population: thousands of burned-out, idealistic hippies.

In fact, in the future, they found out the only way to deal with racism is to control it. Thus, everyone, everyday, is entered into the Shirley Jackson memorial "Racism Lottery," and has the chance of wearing the "Sazkbo Robe." If you are chosen, you are victim to all the heinous, prejudiced practices of the day. Fortunately, those have been narrowed down to being followed around by suspicious, pimply clerks in stores, and being forced to sit in outdated, 21st century "ergonomic" chairs. You'll know the ones, since we are just about to enter the "Stooped Over Era," marked by the terrible back problems caused by said chairs, as well as the invention of many common future sayings, such as "She's as interesting as the pockmarks on a sidewalk," and the cold, cold diss "go walk upright." (Also the punchline of many monkey jokes.) Of course, a day in one of the old chairs doesn't cause back problems, but chairs are soooooooo amazing in the future. Really, half the stuff they do we can't even print in a family fake advice website!

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