Name:Confused in CT
Location: CT
Question: When we match up against an opposing team and call "Gender Across", what are we supposed to consider Boz?

For the non-ultimate players in the ever expanding Ask Boz Duoverse, when you line up to throw off the disc, you choose who you will defend. Of course in co-ed games males wouldn't want to defend females, since it would be so unfair. According to research conducted in the 1742 by the Ask Boz Institute of Advanced Misogyny, men are "fuperior to women in every way, whether it thou beest in physicalliatanism, wherefore in intellect, or here-to-for in fpirit. Women only furpatheth men in the chest area. A woman's chest is so fuperior to a man's in fact, that you will have to excuseth me for a moment." This evidence proves that it would be tragically unfair for a man to line up against a woman.

This gets much more confusing when dealing with Super Apes such as your Boz. There are four genders of Super Ape. There are Males, that produce the life giving fluid needed for reproduction. There are Fluffers, responsible for keeping Males in a constant state of sexual excitement in case their number comes up in the Insemination Lottery, which picks a Male every 42 seconds. This Male has exactly one minute to produce a quart of The Inseminator, as we call our reproductive fluid. Yeah, you guessed it, you say "The Inseminator" with an Arnold voice. It sounds so cool.

The Male then casts his seed upon the wind, where the third gender, Collectors, are tasked in gathering it and placing it into the sacred Earthen Jugs. The Female who has won the Reproducer Lottery for that minute enters the Lodge of Fluid, sniffs all fresh The Inseminator that has been gathered, and her keen sense of smell detects the most viable The Inseminator in the batch. When she signals she is ready, "Mama's Got a Squeeze Box" by the Who is played through the loud speakers, and she goes into the sacred Tent of Artificial Insemination, where she performs the mysterious, and by all accounts quite oogy, Ritual of the Cold Goop.

So when we have mixed gender Ultimate games in the Super Ape Compound, it is really a quad-ed game. Males cover males, fluffers cover fluffers, and collectors cover collectors. The females, of course, gossip about each other and bake cookies.

Our research shows the "Boz" you are referring to is in the gender Collector. This would explain his curious smell and the thin coating of sticky liquid that covers him. If you think that's gross, imagine what he would be like if he didn't have his Sacred Umbrella that keeps most of The Inseminator off of him while he is collecting.

So, to answer your question fully, cover him with a woman. As Collectors have no genitalia, they are nearly as weak and stupid as the females of your species. Plus, he is not distracted by human female breasts. Which are really, really nice. Really nice .... Sooo nice .... Hmmm? Oh. Sorry. If you wouldn't mind, I'm going to excuse myself now.

*** Is there a controversy about sex practices at Ask Boz Central? Read "What is sex?" to find out.***

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