Real questions. Unreal answers.

3/10/09

Dear Boz,

Why do the green potato chips always taste so terrible? And why do I keep trying them? I mean, I know they taste like ass!
Sam from Norwalk CT

Dear Sam,

Very perceptive. In every bag of potato chips there is one green chip, which tastes nothing like the others. We have to go back into Irish history to solve this crunchy little mystery.

If you haven't heard of the Irish Potato Famine, you're a stupid jerk. Be that as it may, way back, in like 1972 or something, all the potatoes in England developed a disease that made them inedible. Historians say that the following famine was due to the Irish reliance on the spud as a food staple. But historians are stupider and jerkier than you.

The Irish didn't just eat potatoes, they loved them. Like borderline creepy love. Listen, I don't know what to do with mashed potatoes when they get cold either, but that's just gross.

Anyway, it's not true that the Irish had nothing else to eat when the potatoes ran out. Admittedly, they had unloved foods like liver, peas, broccoli, spinach and pizza, but they had plenty of them, and, let's face it, if you've ever had Irish food, you know they're not picky.

The truth is, they loved potatoes so much that when they saw the plump little buggers dying, they themselves did not want to go on living. Irishmen and women lay down with the 'taters, wrapped them up in their arms, and expired with the spuds they loved.

The potatoes that live through this vowed that they would never forget the solidarity the Irish showed to them. Seeing as chips are so popular, they decided to place an Irish green chip in every bag, as a reminder of the enduring, and quite strange, love between those smelly drunks and their precious potatoes.

The reason they taste so bad is because they taste exactly like an Irishman. For a food, there is no greater tribute than to taste like the thing you are honoring.

As far as them tasting like ass, I know you want to indicate how bad they taste, but I've always felt that was an unfair comparison. Sure some ass tastes just god-awful. But there are some girly asses out there that are all smooth and perfumed and they taste great. Just sayin'.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, ya drunks,

Boz



Last time: Who is Pippy the Tipsy Puppy?

Archive of the latest responses:

Subscribe to this page to get automatic updates! Easy and free, like Boz

Share on Facebook

NOW! Vote for us at Humor Links

We are listed in the Comedy Zone

Boz needs questions!

Ask me any question because I have all the answers.


Ask by email at askboz@gmail.com. I will not use your email address for anything.

If you don't want me to see your email, fill out this simple form and submit. Just down there a little bit - see the boxes? I can't get them any closer. Sorry. Just ask any old thing, ok? Love ya! 
 


Name or email

How you at?
 
Question or comment
       
                 or

About Ask Boz

Ask Boz can answer any question because we just make up whatever we want.

The mission of Ask Boz is to fill up a little of your down time with good, old-fashioned international bullshit. Remember to click on over when you have some time to kill and simply cannot watch that video of the waterskiing squirrel one more time.

We give you strange humor, humorous strangness, weird funny, funny weirdness, lists of keywords, absurd non-nude, and free advice. All for nothing. No ads, just wild answers to any question you want to ask.

We've answered the biggies: