Is it truely impossible to hold a groove if you "aint got no pockets?"

Why do we value pockets? Any Zen monk or completely vapid floozy could tell you - emptiness. The value of pockets are not that they are something, it is that they're nothing.

This was not always true. When pockets were invented, they were full of stuffing, and more resembled pillows than modern day pockets. This was in the 1800's when everyone became Muslim for a couple of months. Really. Everyone loved it, and there was peace on Earth, but then Ramadan came, with the fasting, and lots realized how much better life was when they drank, so they all went back to good old drunk, gluttunous Christianity. But while they were Muslim, and the men couldn't touch single women anymore, they created boob like objects on either side of their crotch, and called them POCKETS, which was an acronym for "Pillows on Crotch Kinky Erect Ta-Ta Substitute." Many men found themselves wishing for a third hand to deal with all the fun to be had.

Then everyone gave up on Islam and went back to eating, boozing, and praying once a week, women their jealousy about the steamy relationships men had with their pockets. Women began to take the stuffing out of the pockets, just like they always take the fun out of everything. As usual, you couldn't even be mad at them, because the emptiness inside the pocket was so totally awesome, especially for sneaking small bottles of liquor into church. Sadly, it was years before the term "breast pocket" again took on an acceptable meaning.

The relationship between pockets and having a groove is purely a metaphorical one, if "metaphor" means "made up crap." Like the uselfulness of pockets, a groove is only found when one completely empties oneself and forget about the illusions that distract from shakin' our thangs. Which is why the Amish can't dance. They are so burdened with giving, and goodness, selflessness, and other negative emotions, that their pockets runneth over with the heavy load of being goody-goods. They are so weighed down they can't "get down." But the rest of us, not so busy greedily consuming goodness, can feel the funk rise up in our emptiness, filling us up like the stuffing in a boob pocket.

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