Real questions. Unreal answers.

8/24/11

Dear Ask Boz,

If you were on a deserted island and you could only bring three people to ask you questions, who would you bring?
Alex M.

Dear Alex,

Great question. And, you know Alex, you're great, too. I love you. And that girlfriend of yours with the bird name, umm, Starling. Right? Her too.

SOOOOOOO, the first two people in your answer are really easy. It's Einstein and the Riddler. It's the third spot that's kinda hanging me up. So, I'll tell you why I chose the first two, then I'll work out who's going to be the third.

First, The Riddler. This one was pretty obvious. He's all questions all the time! Here are some of his actual riddles: "What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?" I mean, there's so much there, it's almost as good as a Sprankle question. How about "How many sides has a circle?" It's Ask Boz gold! I might just answer that one next time. But he's only invited to my island if he wears this costume.

Next, we have Albert Einstein. Think of the questions he would ask! And there would be all those crazy, unique math symbols that would be part of the question:
equation

Honestly, I figure that if I answer enough of his questions there's a high likelihood that I'll figure out reality while making a poopoo joke.

You know, maybe I'll ask him "How many sides has a circle?" and see what he comes up with.

Like I said before , it's the third that I can't figure. Here's my quandary:

On one hand, there'd be Warren, the special needs kid from There's Something about Mary. Sure, his question is always "Have you seen my baseball?" but he asks it all the time! So if Einstein is busy with a riddle, I'll always have this to fall back on. I can answer that question in soo many different ways!

Still, Alex, I also think, "Ask Boz has needs." So maybe I go with supermodel Adriana Lima. So what if 70% percent of her questions will be variations of "Does this grass skirt make me look fat"? or "Can you make me a coconut shell wonder bra?" She's hotter than a cooler full of ice cold beers!! A lot hotter!!

But then I think if I had Adriana, I'd have to keep a close eye on that Einstein. I mean, the dude stayed cute until the day he died. I am a jealous Boz, and I'd be up all night worried about what they were laughing about in the other hut. My hairiness? My Paleolithically deep eye ridges? Avagadro's Number? WHAT!??!!

All right, it's Warren, then. I don't care if Einstein is into him. The perv. Maybe the question can be "How many sides has my baseball?"

Boz


Last time: Who's your favorite Laff-A-Lympics team?

Follow askboz on Twitter Follow askboz!

Ask a question! Click here.

Archive of the latest responses.

Never miss an Ask Boz! Sign up for the feed and be notified every time I update. Click here: Subscribe It's easy and free, like Boz.

Share on Facebook

NOW! Vote for us at Humor Links

We are listed in the Comedy Zone

Boz needs questions!

Ask me any question because I have all the answers.


Ask by email at askboz@gmail.com. I will not use your email address for anything.

If you don't want me to see your email, fill out this simple form and submit. Just down there a little bit - see the boxes? I can't get them any closer. Sorry. Just ask any old thing, ok? Love ya! 
 

 
Name or email

How you at?
 
Question or comment
       
                 or

About Ask Boz

Ask Boz can answer any question because we just make up whatever we want.

The mission of Ask Boz is to fill up a little of your down time with good, old-fashioned international bullshit. Remember to click on over when you have some time to kill and simply cannot watch that video of the waterskiing squirrel one more time.

We give you strange humor, humorous strangness, weird funny, funny weirdness, lists of keywords, absurd non-nude, and free advice. All for nothing. No ads, just wild answers to any question you want to ask.

We've answered the biggies: