Ask Boz

5/12/08

YES! An Ask Boz two-for-one!
Name:Your Mom
Location: Denver, CO
Question: What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
AND
Name:James
Location: New York
Question: What is 42?


OK, you two - we love your reference to the radio show/books/British television show/movie where the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. They are rather funny, peculiar stories, and they taught us many things. For instance, Super Apes can fly due to the instructions contained in the second book. Falling but forgetting to hit the ground really works. It's breathtaking to see a hairy, overweight Super Ape turn into a being of grace, hair, and flab high in the sky.

But you don't really want us explain the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, do you, Your Mom? BTW, you didn't have us fooled for a second pretending to be our mom -- Denver? Mom would never go to Denver! Ewwww! Or you James, you don't really want us to explain WHY 42 is the answer in the stories. But that's just what we'll do.

First, the easy one: life, the universe, and everything. We'll try to keep this brief, because there's only one joke in it. Ready? The universe is infinite and time is eternal, but that doesn't matter to us. Our world is finite and the life we have is reportedly time dependent. There is a creative force in the universe. You are from and a part of that force. It generates and sustains life by supplying abundance for all beings. Get what you need and be satisfied, and you can find true happiness, which more than balances out all the hard stuff that happens.

The secret to life is in its basic irony; the living make other things die and eat the dead to stay alive. What's that, Vegans? No, you're wrong. Of course you cause and eat death. The rest of us hear the carrots screaming. We've seen your cruel faces as you pick grapes off the decaying remnant of a once vital and growing vine. How do you look at yourselves in the mirror? Why, Vegans? Why?

Anyway, it's the secret because the universe is self-sustaining and we are sustained by it and we are sustenance for it.

The point is that you can wring much happiness out of your brief stay on this tiny pearl of a planet spinning around a slightly larger, and totally sweet, hot gas ball. On this ride you get to bring a little slice of the cosmic consciousness with you. You get to be life and you get to observe life. You are one of the manifold refractions of creation, a creation that is in you and all around you. Every day you can marvel at the universe in its gigantic magnificence and tiny intricacy, and know that same magnificence and intricacy is also your own.

This perspective gives the power to conduct your everyday affairs as simple and entertaining play, and allows you to love all things as yourself because you are the same as all things. You can receive love, give love, and accept amazing highs and terrible lows because you have faced how wonderfully unimportant a being you are in the universe, and you have taken that freeing thought and you frolic with it. And you face how meaningful you are in your own life, and responsibility allows you to grow into a reliable adult.

What are humans here for? To enjoy this planet, and tend to it, and play upon it. A species that hacked its way to the top also cooperated its way to the top. Everything humans need has been provided, and there is enough for everyone and everything else if people don't get greedy. Calm down, slow down, look around, and you will bring on the era of awakened minds. Then you'll see you are life, the universe, and everything, and you are the answer.

OK? Now, on to 42. Why he chose this as the answer means we have to get into the author's head. And we've forgotten his name. Which is sad, because we really like the stuff old what's his name wrote. We keep thinking it's "Stephen Hawking," but we know that can't be right.

What's that, Stephen? No, of course you could have written those books. Yes, we know you have written books. Yes. Mhmmm. Yes, yes. Look, Stephen, of course what you've done is impressive, but, when you constantly bring it up, you know, we get a little tired of going through the list of how amazing you are and all you've overcome. OK? Maybe try to think about other people sometimes!

Sorry about that. It turns out, 42 is the funniest of all the numbers. Try it. Any time someone says, what "What number is Tom Brady," or "How many people have the Chinese imprisoned this hour," or "How many lightsabers does Luke have?" say 42. It's like, people don't know why, but they laugh. A little hint - always use 42 for the number of hippies, rutabagas, the answer to 6 times 8, and any joke that requires a number of Polish people / blonds / priests / lesbians / rabbis /sex toys / blind mice/ or God.

Last time: Count me in.

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