Dear Ask Boz,

Part II - Super Mario
My interview with Super Mario was quite long. The first part was mostly me trying to get cheat codes for the games "Super Mario vs. P-Diddy" and "Super Mario Sandwich Maker." I'll skip to where we begin to talk about his life around the time he found out he was imaginary:

Boz: You're obviously a tiny little cartoony guy. How could you possibly think you were real?

Mario: I never had any time to think! Have you ever tried to think when you have to jump over rolling barrels or hit a warp strip just right so you launch over a huge canyon? It's not exactly a great time to reflect on the nature of existence.

Boz: Well, obviously you figured it out. Can you tell my readers how that happened?

Mario: (laughs) That's one crazy story. I was hanging out with this Koopa Wizard who said that we live in multiple dimensions at once. He said that there were millions of versions of us, all leading different lives at the same time. I didn't always understand him, but I would listen as hard as I could while progressively jumping onto a succession of turtles, gaining points and gold rings.

One day he said "I think you are ready." He set up twenty of his special mushrooms in a row. As I jumped on each one, I had this crazy vision. I got this feeling that there were more and more of me. By the time I was done, I felt that there were thousands of me, maybe millions, all jumping over things, onto things, hitting thirteen turbo strips and hurtling through 100's of gold coins, driving carts, skiing.

Boz: So you were experiencing being a character in a multitude of video games all at the same time?

Mario: Exactly. For a while, I was just blown away. It took months for me to really deal with the experience. And as soon as I could cope with it, another revelation hit me. While thousands of me are beating thousands of challenges, thousands of me are dying, and thousands are being reborn.

Boz: That's deep.

Mario: It is. Right now, as I speak to you, I'm dead, I'm dying, and I'm running, I'm driving, I'm jumping, I'm falling. Boz, I'm spawning right now.

Boz: (I was tempted to ask him if he needed a kleenex, but I didn't think he'd get it.) How did that realization impact you?

Mario: It felt so good! I mean, it's almost like I'm immortal, you know. You can kill one of me, but another one just pops up.

Boz: So that's when you knew you were imaginary?

Mario: No. It was when the Koopa Wizard told me to look to the right when I was in a side-scrolling game. That's when I saw the faces. Faces in rooms, watching me intently. Staring at me, following my every move. And then I saw that they were holding some sort of device, and were moving levers and mashing buttons. I realized that each face was matched with a version of me. And that they controlled what I was doing.

Boz: That must have been a shock.

Mario: At first. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how great it was. It wasn't on me to complete all these terrifying tasks. I didn't have to worry about hitting a combo anymore. I didn't get scared when my health was down to its last bar. Having acknowledged that I am controlled, I became free! Do you understand: Free!

He got so excited that he jumped up into the air. Really high. In fact, he crashed down, broke his chair, and was impaled on one of the splintered legs. I just laughed and imagined him respawning somewhere.

Congratulations! By reading this far, you have unlocked a secret level. Enjoy part three!