Why do monkeys like bananas?

E. M., Connecticut

Strangely, it has been clearly proven that monkeys really don’t care for bananas at all. In our labs, MRI after MRI showed no evidence of any change in the monkey brain to the banana stimuli. This led our scientists to look at the other half of this long and loving relationship: the banana. Turns out, bananas are the feelingist of fruits, surpassing even passion fruit and lime for having the strongest and most focused emotions. Each time one of our scientists showed a banana a picture of a monkey, the massive neuron firings nearly overwhelmed the Ask Boz Super-Computer MRI Mainframe Hub Control Center Blade Pod Room. So, anyway, it turns out bananas also have retractable legs and little tiny feet, whose toes are teeny-tiny bananas themselves. So they run and run until they find a monkey, then jump into its hand, and get gloriously eaten and digested. The lucky bits get taken up to be part of the monkey forever, while the not so lucky bits gets turned into pee-pee or poo-poo and are excreted.

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