What is a scoober?

A scoober is an ultimate frisbee throw. Unlike other throws, the scoober begins and ends its life upside down. It is generally only used in short yardage situations, as it tends to flop over like a hippy when you hit it over and over until the side of its face is gouged and its eye is droo ... ummmmmm. Yeah. Just don't try to throw it too far, ok?

Although the throw can be very effective, and often garners oohs and aahs when done well, it is also universally condemned when it falls incomplete. Many people won't throw the scoober for fear of the devastating heckling that may follow a poorly thrown pass.

We here at Ask Boz are pushing to make the word "scoober" into a general metaphor for ideas that everyone loves when they work, but defame when they fail. Here are a few things that would fall under the category of "scoober."

1. White people. Remember how great they used to be? The dumb, knuckle-dragging primitives in non-white nations would stop skinning each other and praising strange gods to genuflect to the great pale race. Sadly, these glory days are over for whitey. They have been taken over by the tiny race: children. Yes, your cracker neighbors spend so much time worshipping their offspring that they forgot what got them this far: focused and exploitative cruelty in the guise of civilizing and helping.
2. Iraq. Not the war, the country. Remember when it was a shining democracy? Well, that week is over. If we are reading the reports right, there is civil war, and, even worse, guys actually punish other guys for having booze and porn! Scooooober!
3. Men. How has the all-knowing father of the house been reduced to the bumbling fool who nearly kills himself daily doing household chores? If women scientists figure out how to manufacture sperm, men will probably be released back into the wild, and with no kind white man to guide them back to civilization.
4. Christianity. You could see this scooberism coming. You know, there are some big problems just sitting there. How can you have both one god and a holy trinity? Which am I supposed to do, an eye for an eye, or turn the other cheek? And did you know it was an abomination to wear a cotton/polyester blend? Seriously! Check out Leviticus 19:19. Christianity is suuuuuch a scoober!

Ask Boz

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