What reality TV show would you most like to be on?

Vinnie C.

Ask Boz is preparing to launch its own hit series "Shooting Stars." We will take stars whose careers are beginning to flame out due to their stupid, drunken actions, and we will shoot at them with guns.

For example, we just lined up the hilarious anti-semite Mel Gibson to be on the premiere episode. Not to give too much away, but we get him roaring drunk, and have Harvey Firestein shoot at him every time Gibson belts out one of his tiny-minded slurs. Turns out he's not fond of gay people either, so ol' Harvey went through a lot of clips in this episode. Tell ya what, he's a jerk, but he takes bullets like Scarface on coke!

Next up, Supermodel Anger-Diva Naomi Campbell. We have secretaries, assistants, pageboys, stewardesses, and other toadies approach her with bad news. Whatever she is demanding in a shrill voice, she just can't have. What is poor Naomi to do but start throwing all the conveniently placed vases, jewel encrusted PDA's, cellphones, and kittens that we left around? But watch out, Naomi. Those peons got gat! Everytime you throw something at them, they can throw some lead back at you. Luckily, she's hippy thin, so she is able to last a while before her beautiful, bloody end.

Well, we're not going to tell you who else is coming up, but we're pretty sure someone with a name that rhymes with "Shmussel Shmoe" isn't too far from lobbing another phone at some innocent worker. Stay tuned!

Ask Boz

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