Ask Boz
9/6/08
Dear Ask Boz, y is the sky blue? oh i know because of the water in oceans and lakes and ponds it makes a reflection which is the sky, thanx!
Really? You believe the reflection off water is what makes the sky blue? Wow! What school system did you go to? We want to know so we can recommend it to the children of our enemies.
By your advanced science, that means if you're in, like, the Sahara, the sky must be a calm, sandy yellow. Thus, in the arctic and Antarctic the sky is opal white. Over the Amazon it's green. And above the rolling hills of Ireland the sky gleams a lovely plaid.
Soooo, you're dumb. Which is fine, because that means you fit in with most Human-Americans. And, since you seem to like nonsense parading as fact, here's some more:
- Cuticles really are cute!
- Sand is a yellow crystal because it is the salt from God's dried, sun baked pee.
- Smack talk actually causes physical damage. Or makes you high on heroin. Or crave noodles.
- The stuff inside potatoes and apples are the same; the taste different because potatoes are warm blooded and apples are cold blooded.
- Panda's are the twisted offspring of Black Bears and the Abominable Snowman.
- Zebra's are the secret offspring of Black Beauty and White Stallion.
- Giraffes necks stretched over a prolonged period of adaptive evolution.
- The fire that comes from matches and lighters is different.
- Oceans are virtually empty beneath the surface. Water just forms a dense bubble around you that goes where you go to give the illusion of a vast sea.
Clearly, we could go on all day. So we will. On October 12th we will go to the island of Atlantis and spout pretend facts for twenty-four hours straight. Too bad you humans haven't found Atlantis yet. Losers. Here, we'll give you a hint to where it is: not.
Last time: More fake science: Plate Tettonics explained.
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