Real questions. Unreal answers.

3/20/10

Dear Ask Boz,

How do you know if you're imaginary?
Coach and Judy

Part III - Stalin
It turns out that Stalin was imaginary, too. Here's an excerpt from my interview:

Boz: So you always knew you were imaginary?

Stalin: Da. The problem was, no one else did. I mean, Communism? Really? Does anyone buy that crap?

Boz: Well, obviously a lot of Russians did.

Stalin: You got that right! And as soon as I saw that they would do anything, I just did crazier and crazier stuff. Purges, forced industrialization, taking over countries, ethnic cleansing, slaughter of innocents, peace with Hitler, war with Hitler. It didn't seem to matter what I did! Everyone just followed right along.

Boz: Did you enjoy it?

Stalin: A lot at first. But after awhile, when I realized I could do anything I wanted, I just got bored. I had to pretend to be dead just so I could get the hell out of there.

Boz: What do you do now?

Stalin: I run the support group "So you're imaginary." As you know, Boz, there aren't a lot of social services out there for our kind. So we have to at least stick together, and help each other out. Imaginary power to the imaginary people!

Boz: Right on, Brother Joseph!

Boz


Last time: How do you know when you're imaginary? Part I.

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