Ask Boz
6/12/08
Name:oliver
Location: dadzmonie
Question: why are stop signs red?
Oliver, Oliver, Oliver. What other colors say STOP like red? What? Yellow? Oliver, yellow says "Spread out your picnic basket in the dappled sunshine," not STOP. Blue? Oh yes, you really want to put on the brake when you think of the endless possibility of the sky and the peaceful, placid lake. What, Oliver? No, black wouldn't show up as well at night... nice try, though. We're starting to like you more and more.
Listen, we're going to give it to you straight. Red is the color of bad. And not "good" bad, either, as in "That cat is bad!" That color is orange. And, no, an orange STOP sign wouldn't be good; too citrusy.
No, we mean red is bad. Like, murder and mayhem are caused by the color red. Go ahead, paint a room blood red - see what happens. You might as well just put crossed scythes over the hearth.
You know what red makes people think of? Blood. What do you think of when you think of blood? Vampires. Do you want vampires running at you and jumping into your car? No. So you STOP.
But then it's ruined by putting the word "STOP" in sissy white letters. Just when they have you thinking, "oh, crap, vampires," you see white and think, "oh look, yeti, sheep and angels." Angels don't say "STOP"! They say, "Pause for a moment and then be on your way in peace." Sheep say, "We will only be in your way for a moment before we carry on to our destiny of denuding and slaughter." And yeti ... well, honestly, a yeti could stop you pretty good. Sorry we chose that one, really. Kinda screws up our whole thingy.
Anyway, they should have written STOP in an even deadlier red, like a village pillaging red. Yeah. You see vampires and Huns every time you come up to a STOP sign, then you'd stop and stay stopped.
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