Real questions. Unreal answers.

10/12/09

Dear Ask Boz,

How do you turn men on/off?
Lazagna

Dear Lazagna,

I can think of many things I do to turn men on while in my male form. With my choice of sports shorts, I show just the right amount of hairy thigh and calf. This emphasizes the turn of my ankle and the flash of my cleats.

Really, I use all of my hair to entice men. I've smoothed my golden arm hair to lay across my wrist like a gossamer wave that is breaking over my wrist bone and tumbling down my skin.

Furthermore, my beard doubles the size of my smile, making an irresistable clown effect that works on 96% of people. Only the insanely clown fearing have the opposite reaction to my smile, but who wants to turn those freaks on anyways?

I think there is something primal in men that is called to one as hairy as I, and I take full advantage. I can get a man going like a strip club on Christmas.

In my female form I'm much less primal, but even more effective. I have found that males are pathetically easy to turn on. Vary my cleavage view daily, show a little thong every three days and he is interested. Smile and laugh at what he says, and I have him at full attention. And he's buying me drinks.

Then, when I feel the time is right, I weave a little like I'm drunk, sway in towards him, playfully point to his chest, then hit his chest with an accusing finger, and say kittenshly "You're a bad boy, aren't you?" Pretty much after that it's on like flan.

While I am a woman I find it best to minimize my hair to pretty much only the top and back of my head. This allows me to easily and frequently vary styles, lengths and colors. Just an fyi girls, but a pony tail or braids work with 96% of men. I did a scientific survey. As a woman, I'm a scientist.

I can't believe I'm telling you this, but no matter what I keep that little tuft of hair that's right above my butt. I haven't met a man or woman who's been able to resist it. I think it's pansexual.

As for when I want to turn my men or my women off, I take my other form. Omni-gendered and glowing, I frighten the crap out of all who know me, and they poke me with sticks until I go away.

Taking this form gives all of us a needed break from the constant action I get in my other two forms. Allowing them to hurt me with sharpened sticks gives them the illusion that they are in control. Little do they know that I still have my little tuft of hair, and if I showed it to them they would be back under my spell.


Boz


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